A Swift Morning

Having failed to meet the 8.30 run-off time at the Lower Barn on Saturday (29th March), which was due entirely to being plonked down next to Watters on Friday night, and had absolutely nothing to do with any lack of discipline on my part, I set off on a run from home at about 9 (in the morning). These days there is an increasing propensity for people to have personalized number plates on their cars (well I suppose it’s better than having them on their heads), but sadly for them, I have to report that this is no longer trendy and in fact, rather old-fashioned.

I had only gone about 150 yards, or put another way, been running for about five minutes, when I saw a parked car bearing the title "SUZUKI SWIFT ED". It is good to see Suzuki honouring our leader by naming a car after him, and I’m impressed that they arranged his name in an order that signified to the doubters, and the unlearned, where his true talent lies(that’s apart from the Thatch and Thistle). Now if only they had the sense to drop Suzuki from the title they would soon see a swift increase in Swift sales.

After lumbering, in a most unswift-like manner, through a short stretch of parkland I came to the main road. Immediately coming down the road was a car bearing the number plate A5WFT. Obviously someone with an eye for becoming a swift, except that they didn’t or else they would be, if you see what I mean.

Soon after, I turned up Bradshaw Road on my way to the Jumbles, when suddenly a Tradesman’s van flew by with SWIFT emblazoned on the side. All of this happened within three-quarters of a mile of setting off! By now I was starting to become paranoid and half expected YJ Swift, all the way from Preston, to fly past me limbering up for the Edale Skyline. Soon after this however, I left the road to head for the moors and so brought my Swift encounter to a swift conclusion. No doubt I came across a few swifts in the countryside, but I wouldn’t recognize them with my glasses on, let alone with them off.

So there you have it. Forget about personalized number plates, they’re for yesterday's men ... and women. If you want to get a ed and be a high-flier, you need to have a car named after you. I’ve no doubt though, that someone out there has both. Some people just have to have it all.

By the way, understand that when Ed got his BMW he was also considering a Mitsubishi, but he couldn't spell Mitsubishi ... so he got the one he could spell!

Mat (Shticklegs)